Monday, January 18

patiently enjoying motherhood

Patience is a virtue I'm was not blessed with. I'm convinced God gave me a son to prove to me that it could be done. In just eight of the quickest weeks of my life, Ward has taught me how to slow down. Ward is the smartest...he can sense when any hot meal is on the table {& instantly awakens}, he knows when I'm trying to multitask on my iPhone while feeding him {& loudly demands attention} and he knows when I'm rushing bedtime to try to either get to bed or just sit down {& gives the biggest bright eyed smiles you can't ignore}.
You realize as a mom that there are so many things that you think require fixing because somewhere there is an ideal list of milestones and the image of perfection. As a "fixer" {fancy word for control freak} it began to irk me that there are just so many things I cannot fix...isn't there something in one of these mom-tested solutions books, something the pediatrician can do, something I can Amazon Prime to "fix" any foreseeable problem? Instead of finding a fix, so much of these past weeks have taught me to just wait & see. Wait and see if this is just a growth spurt making him fussy, wait and see if he gains weight the way he's supposed to, wait and see if he can sleep through the night.

If these moments are what you get to enjoy while you wait & see for God to answer your prayers to sleepless nights and awaiting the next big leap, I'll learn to be patient and enjoy the wonder in waiting. It's in the waiting I see the sweetest smiles, comfort the tears, and witness more love showered over a tiny human being. I can't imagine missing these little moments. 

There is something magical in God's plan for this little boy and I'm enjoying not rushing a single second.

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